Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

asdfjkl123456

Search for a member

asdfjkl123456

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3003
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About asdfjkl123456 : No

asdfjkl123456's page activity

Visits<b>fooad444</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:34am<b>moosemanjinkurs</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:48am<b>zefronke8</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:20am<b>captmiller1</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 1:32am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 3:34pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:25pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:19am<b>savannahleiggh</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 5:33pm<b>theslawdawg</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 4:07am<b>172pilot</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:23am<b>SyN0pTiiC</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:09am<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 3:44am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 9:08am<b>Krbsmommy</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 3:43am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 5:29pm<b>bookboy4</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:38pm<b>11bGrunT</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 7:29pm<b>Noremac42</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:19pm

asdfjkl123456's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of asdfjkl123456's badges

asdfjkl123456's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

#20596513
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61727) - you deserved it (5048)

On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

#20593993
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44565) - you deserved it (11992)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47251) - you deserved it (9616)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML

#20588922
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50053) - you deserved it (8114)

On 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51227) - you deserved it (5746)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61197) - you deserved it (17004)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

#20583566
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39815) - you deserved it (17984)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML

#20582400
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35707) - you deserved it (7118)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51037) - you deserved it (5202)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38921) - you deserved it (5167)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

#20577290
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61393) - you deserved it (5546)

On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46791) - you deserved it (4668)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56505) - you deserved it (18897)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46948) - you deserved it (5536)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

#20572695
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45625) - you deserved it (3806)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: