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asdfghjklana

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asdfghjklana

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4330
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About asdfghjklana : Hi, I'm Alana and have no life whatsoever

asdfghjklana's page activity

Visits<b>clubbing4life</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Gaber64</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 9:52am<b>brittanymarie15</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:51am<b>nightninja22</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 3:28am<b>Stypahorlikson</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:09pm<b>Brock_Dudeson</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:41pm<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 12:52pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:33am<b>Yezetnia</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:41pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 11:22pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:28am<b>Make_Believe</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:27pm<b>Uncgirl</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:01pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:25pm<b>Ramell</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 6:43am<b>R3Dx</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 5:13am

asdfghjklana's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of asdfghjklana's badges

asdfghjklana's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43894) - you deserved it (6209)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

#21124555
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44467) - you deserved it (7799)

On 04/27/2014 at 6:08pm - love - by phuckbukket7 (man) - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we ran the Skype call all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML

#21124188
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38418) - you deserved it (5493)

On 04/27/2014 at 9:43am - love - by Amy (grossed out) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

#21121714
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41181) - you deserved it (4752)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:32am - work - by me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from a girl I've had a crush on for a while. As I was about to accept it, it vanished. She explained later that she clicked on my name by accident, and didn't actually want to be friends at all. FML

#21121713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44391) - you deserved it (3561)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49871) - you deserved it (13834)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41566) - you deserved it (6654)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

#21115862
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49880) - you deserved it (4750)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56204) - you deserved it (7845)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

#21115571
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48246) - you deserved it (4208)

On 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm - work - by badessaymyass (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55982) - you deserved it (7049)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40317) - you deserved it (3985)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65177) - you deserved it (32614)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20113) - you deserved it (38345)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43929) - you deserved it (7128)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)



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