asdfghjklana

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Offline (the 08/25/2015 at 6:37pm)

asdfghjklana

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10954
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About asdfghjklana : Hi, I'm Alana and have no life whatsoever

asdfghjklana's page activity

Visits<b>punxsy_phil</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 7:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:35am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:13am<b>clubbing4life</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Gaber64</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 9:52am<b>brittanymarie15</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:51am<b>nightninja22</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 3:28am<b>Stypahorlikson</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:09pm<b>Brock_Dudeson</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:41pm<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 12:52pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:33am<b>Yezetnia</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:41pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 11:22pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:28am<b>Make_Believe</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:27pm<b>Uncgirl</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:01pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:35pm

asdfghjklana's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of asdfghjklana's badges

asdfghjklana's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

by peallow / 05/12/2013 at 1:01am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

by What the fuck, son? / 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Kids

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm / Switzerland (Sankt Gallen) / Love

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

by o___O" / 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm / Saudi Arabia (Makkah) / Love

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

by Screwed Up / 05/09/2013 at 1:30am / United States / Health

Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML

by 19kwhatever / 05/08/2013 at 9:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

by anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Wyoming) / Money

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

by unforgettablee / 04/29/2013 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Intimacy

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I took my Spanish test, and I felt very confident. I got the test back later, and saw my teacher had written on it: "Congrats on the 94%, but I know you cheated." FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 12:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous