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asdfghjklana

Offline (the 03/18/2015 at 4:15am) | Search for a member

asdfghjklana

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7224
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About asdfghjklana : Hi, I'm Alana and have no life whatsoever

asdfghjklana's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:35am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:13am<b>clubbing4life</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Gaber64</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 9:52am<b>brittanymarie15</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:51am<b>nightninja22</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 3:28am<b>Stypahorlikson</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:09pm<b>Brock_Dudeson</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:41pm<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 12:52pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:33am<b>Yezetnia</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:41pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 11:22pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:28am<b>Make_Believe</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:27pm<b>Uncgirl</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:01pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:25pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:35pm

asdfghjklana's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of asdfghjklana's badges

asdfghjklana's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

#21316697
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (6509)

On 12/13/2014 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28956) - you deserved it (7232)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

#21316117
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26848) - you deserved it (5548)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

#21314515
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (3801)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:19pm - love - by thatsnice - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40058) - you deserved it (2261)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (3300)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

#21312092
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36703) - you deserved it (5975)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm - love - by hh - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML

#21310909
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31488) - you deserved it (3299)

On 12/03/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by crazy cat lady - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28594) - you deserved it (5102)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48186) - you deserved it (13528)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (4239)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

#21308108
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28942) - you deserved it (5886)

On 11/29/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by come on man (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

#21306195
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (2398)

On 11/26/2014 at 1:13pm - misc - by unwanted (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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