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asdfghjklana

Offline (the 12/25/2014 at 6:41am) | Search for a member

asdfghjklana

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5213
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About asdfghjklana : Hi, I'm Alana and have no life whatsoever

asdfghjklana's page activity

Visits<b>clubbing4life</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Gaber64</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 9:52am<b>brittanymarie15</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:51am<b>nightninja22</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 3:28am<b>Stypahorlikson</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:09pm<b>Brock_Dudeson</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:41pm<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 12:52pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:33am<b>Yezetnia</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:41pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 11:22pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:28am<b>Make_Believe</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:27pm<b>Uncgirl</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:01pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:25pm<b>Ramell</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 6:43am<b>R3Dx</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 5:13am

asdfghjklana's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of asdfghjklana's badges

asdfghjklana's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

#21290277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (4408)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML

#21288806
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (3627)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26426) - you deserved it (21878)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML

#21287120
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (2182)

On 10/28/2014 at 5:58pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35783) - you deserved it (3955)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30938) - you deserved it (3689)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35905) - you deserved it (2898)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37049) - you deserved it (10806)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (3364)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34133) - you deserved it (7120)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31110) - you deserved it (3370)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30222) - you deserved it (4769)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35820) - you deserved it (3586)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39077) - you deserved it (5519)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)



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