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Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29012) - you deserved it (1761)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21397) - you deserved it (31321)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34722) - you deserved it (2399)
On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37359) - you deserved it (2227)
On 05/20/2013 at 1:44am - health - by KatielSilver - United States (Washington)
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33141) - you deserved it (4668)
On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36903) - you deserved it (5085)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34619) - you deserved it (2810)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40837) - you deserved it (5676)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37534) - you deserved it (21743)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States
Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (16998)
On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49736) - you deserved it (2753)
On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by mackmackey (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40913) - you deserved it (2947)
On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41770) - you deserved it (4236)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36514) - you deserved it (12400)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35048) - you deserved it (4367)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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