asb818

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asb818

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2290
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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asb818's page activity

Visits<b>pks2014</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:07pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 3:16am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:58am<b>thefastbunny</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 10:31am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 7:41pm<b>149967</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 6:17pm<b>Norris_FTW_77</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 3:27am<b>No_tag</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 6:29pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 1:43pm<b>edvin</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:27pm<b>hiimolivia</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 6:44pm<b>bnymets1</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 8:29am<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 5:50pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:13am<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 9:05pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:19pm<b>knotcool</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 8:53pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 4:40pm

asb818's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of asb818's badges

asb818's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

by anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm / United States / Love

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

by james88 / 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

by gassy / 01/07/2013 at 10:40am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

by wetsheets / 01/07/2013 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

by scaredofhedges / 01/07/2013 at 5:21am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

by lifsabtch / 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm / Love

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

by but i make different stiffies / 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

by damn / 01/04/2013 at 9:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2013 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

by Tiffosaur / 01/04/2013 at 1:12am / United States / Love

Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

by Megz / 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 5:34am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

by alynna007 / 01/02/2013 at 5:31am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML

by Bouh / 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me. Less than 3 hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

by mahanaaa_23 / 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love