asb818

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asb818

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2158
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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asb818's page activity

Visits<b>pks2014</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:07pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 3:16am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:58am<b>thefastbunny</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 10:31am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 7:41pm<b>149967</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 6:17pm<b>Norris_FTW_77</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 3:27am<b>No_tag</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 6:29pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 1:43pm<b>edvin</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:27pm<b>hiimolivia</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 6:44pm<b>bnymets1</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 8:29am<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 5:50pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:13am<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 9:05pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:19pm<b>knotcool</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 8:53pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 4:40pm

asb818's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of asb818's badges

asb818's favorite FMLs

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

by me / 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2013 at 3:27am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Money

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

by normal / 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

by ChubbyButt / 01/16/2013 at 5:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

by LilRedRiding_27 / 01/13/2013 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

by CaitiieBuggs / 01/13/2013 at 2:22am / United States (Oregon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

by GiraffeLover / 01/11/2013 at 6:36am / Australia / Love

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

by Kftc88 / 01/11/2013 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

by Facepalmum / 01/10/2013 at 1:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

by Anon / 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

by EffUrEll / 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous