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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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artiststatement

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artiststatement
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 October 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2154
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (13078) - you deserved it (982)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (8625) - you deserved it (1968)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435 (351)

I agree, your life sucks (11029) - you deserved it (2045)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

#18614469 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (7120) - you deserved it (863)

On 12/26/2011 at 7:11am - love - by SoccerBabe42 (woman) - Canada

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913 (15)

I agree, your life sucks (2779) - you deserved it (24257)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

#18460196 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (8054) - you deserved it (1318)

On 12/08/2011 at 12:41pm - kids - by childdreamkiller (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (12128) - you deserved it (2628)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (3788) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (23150) - you deserved it (2151)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (8851) - you deserved it (24397)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (3384) - you deserved it (18691)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

#18247557 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (6255) - you deserved it (2318)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

#18242988 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (10757) - you deserved it (1251)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

#18231005 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (8085) - you deserved it (25715)

On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML

#18224310 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (12648) - you deserved it (913)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:06am - love - by so romantic - United States (Texas)