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artiststatement

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artiststatement

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 October 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9577
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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artiststatement's page activity

Visits<b>Damafia</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:28am<b>gogators941</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:20pm<b>emilyporter_14</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:46pm<b>The_Stinsonator</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 5:21am<b>sk8rdud3</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Emocuttergirl</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:55am<b>PotterHead_DH</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 6:04am<b>bkinns</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:39am<b>andy594328</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 10:54am<b>caver1</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:55am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 4:08pm<b>GogoTheGreat</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 4:51am<b>Sjus</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 8:23am<b>lucky_bastard</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 2:03pm<b>fatmcfatty</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 11:18pm<b>oicu812xD</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 3:26am<b>miniluda12</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:06am

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artiststatement's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35201) - you deserved it (9154)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (3342)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (5360)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47366) - you deserved it (4417)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33315) - you deserved it (3495)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31327) - you deserved it (18038)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42170) - you deserved it (2730)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34879) - you deserved it (2730)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32909) - you deserved it (2777)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40740) - you deserved it (9462)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38065) - you deserved it (2792)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34878) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (44646)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35321) - you deserved it (5004)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22055) - you deserved it (36091)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)



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