arrowtopatella

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arrowtopatella

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1359
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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arrowtopatella's page activity

Visits<b>DToast</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 2:27am<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 2:42pm<b>figure12341234</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 4:49pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 10:39am<b>170107</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:41am<b>Pixanator</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 6:35pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:43pm<b>19Gardiner32</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 6:40pm<b>NNOTCHO</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 2:28pm<b>Yunhee</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 6:03pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:05pm<b>lui_pg</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 9:27pm<b>KabamWolf</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:12pm<b>strange_ness</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:40pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 2:25am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:35am<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:14am

Fucked!<b>Pixanator</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:35pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 5:35pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 8:14am<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 4:51pm<b>creeperdevon</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 9:29pm

arrowtopatella's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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arrowtopatella's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

by skrewedguy / 12/07/2011 at 10:33pm / United States / Health

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 2:22am / Australia / Animals

Today, I spent about 10 minutes searching frantically for my cell phone, while holding it up to my ear and talking to my friend about my plans tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 9:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML

by ReallyNow / 09/01/2011 at 1:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

by frankkathy / 07/26/2011 at 1:07pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML

by whyme / 07/13/2011 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

by Jessica / 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Money

Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML

by Smile No More / 05/13/2011 at 8:27am / Work

Today, my motorcycle was stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, the thief drove past me. Twice. FML

by Diesel / 05/03/2011 at 10:23am / Belgium (Luxembourg) / Transportation

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

by Cecilly2010 / 04/28/2011 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2011 at 1:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to do a word search in my daughter's Hello Kitty coloring book. It took me 30 minutes to find 6 words in a kids coloring book for ages 1 and up. FML

by ldbella / 02/27/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Kids