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arrow007archer's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML
by dad, please / 05/16/2016 at 1:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Lord Buttfuck IV / 08/29/2015 at 10:06am / France / Miscellaneous
by ealovan / 08/24/2015 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Money
by AlicefromIreland / 08/23/2015 at 1:39pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by rachlette / 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML
by teecrafter2038 / 03/12/2015 at 10:07am / United States (New York) / Animals
by mszoe / 03/01/2015 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 9:16am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
by Like mother like daughter / 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by DumbFace714 / 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/11/2015 at 4:07pm / United States (California) / Work
by jackskellington / 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love