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arrow007archer's favorite FMLs
Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 12:16pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML
by dad, please / 05/16/2016 at 1:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Lord Buttfuck IV / 08/29/2015 at 10:06am / France / Miscellaneous
by ealovan / 08/24/2015 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Money
by AlicefromIreland / 08/23/2015 at 1:39pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by rachlette / 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML
by teecrafter2038 / 03/12/2015 at 10:07am / United States (New York) / Animals
by mszoe / 03/01/2015 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 9:16am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
by Like mother like daughter / 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by DumbFace714 / 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/11/2015 at 4:07pm / United States (California) / Work
by jackskellington / 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…