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Offline (the 10/02/2016 at 12:02pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 October 1999 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2385
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

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arrow007archer's page activity

Visits<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 5:11pm<b>Gimanos</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 5:43pm<b>caesars06</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 12:31am<b>Myeyesbleed</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 12:19pm<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 1:44am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 7:59am<b>BakedBanana</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 7:35pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 3:47pm<b>UberPoptart</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 1:23am<b>Mons</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 3:04am<b>0dd80d</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:27am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 12:11am<b>eliasRrivera</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:32am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 3:17am<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 1:26am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:14am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 11:53pm

Fucked!<b>eliasRrivera</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 5:32pm

arrow007archer's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of arrow007archer's badges

arrow007archer's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 4:38am / Intimacy

Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML

by PeedMaPants / 08/15/2016 at 8:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Work

Today, a man finally was flirting with me in a supermarket checkout lane, even offering to help unload my groceries onto the conveyor. Turns out he was just distracting everyone so his partner in crime could steal $200 from the cash register. I had to give a witness statement to the manager. FML

by lonelyheart4ever / 08/12/2016 at 9:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I realized I got more birthday wishes from people checking my ID for alcohol purchases than from friends. FML

by taroschain / 07/30/2016 at 5:19pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I was learning how to start having lucid dreams. She was convinced the only reason I could possibly want to have them was so I could cheat on her in my own dreams. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2016 at 11:14pm / Love

Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2016 at 2:10pm / Intimacy

Today, I've owned my dream car for 11 days. Someone backed into it while it parked at work, and drove away without leaving a note. A man at a nearby business knows who did it but won't tell me because it was one of his customers. FML

by icefly / 07/29/2016 at 11:39am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML

by for my brother in law / 07/27/2016 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML

by StateOfEuphoria / 07/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 7:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the supermarket, I came back to one of my car windows smashed in. Apparently, the stuffed animal my son left in the back seat looks like a dehydrated dog. FML

by poongoon / 07/13/2016 at 12:11am / Animals

Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 12:16pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I picked up my laundry from the wash-and-fold and proceeded to put everything away. I noticed a hand towel that wasn't mine and made a mental note to return it; turned out they'd given me someone else's boxers as well. My boyfriend doesn't believe me. FML

by LaundryVictim / 06/15/2016 at 4:50pm / Love

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML

Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML

by dad, please / 05/16/2016 at 1:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy