Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

arniebrah

Search for a member

arniebrah

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 November 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1345
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About arniebrah : Fml
Cracks me up
Especially all the trolling that goes on
Keep it coming, you amazing people

Peace

arniebrah's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of arniebrah's badges

arniebrah's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11831) - you deserved it (54898)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

#18705552
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43832) - you deserved it (4153)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

#18670300
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27486) - you deserved it (3044)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

#18533505
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29176) - you deserved it (8906)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by MikeNick - United States

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

#18286632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31917) - you deserved it (6400)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

#17694552
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23805) - you deserved it (2123)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:34am - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Reserved

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34361) - you deserved it (9554)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

#17429477
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33887) - you deserved it (6474)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by noway - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48025) - you deserved it (7809)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9577) - you deserved it (100483)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML

#13957854
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (4645)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

#13715432
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30243) - you deserved it (5285)

On 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

#9077477
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17592) - you deserved it (7371)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9454) - you deserved it (48642)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I received a $100 bill in the mail as a late graduation present. I placed it on the table so I could go to the bathroom. I come back to find the table empty and my $100 bill missing. The fan blew the money on the floor and my 8 week old puppy ate it. FML

#5500078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34730) - you deserved it (16062)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:32am - money - by TractorUWG (man) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: