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arianamariew

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arianamariew

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arianamariew's favorite FMLs

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27215) - you deserved it (12872)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25204) - you deserved it (5787)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

#20197527
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (1570)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18483) - you deserved it (5198)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (3802)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25530) - you deserved it (3768)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25530) - you deserved it (3768)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (2013)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28500) - you deserved it (1836)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20588) - you deserved it (1299)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)



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