Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

arcadekid1

Search for a member

arcadekid1
  • Town/Country : Brisbane, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 232
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

arcadekid1's last visitors

jillytcjadeluvmikky8484

arcadekid1's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of arcadekid1's badges

arcadekid1's favorite FMLs

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (3985)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (7854)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (5030)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (28081)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

#20495386
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28082) - you deserved it (2778)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

#20479916
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30090) - you deserved it (3372)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (1964)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML

#20110068
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24273) - you deserved it (7374)

On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28545) - you deserved it (2329)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20650) - you deserved it (4578)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22853) - you deserved it (9932)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (1161)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (3815)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

#10499435
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (6511)

On 05/13/2010 at 12:07am - work - by justkillm3 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

#923154
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110208) - you deserved it (4829)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: