arbw090583

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arbw090583

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 September 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13381
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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arbw090583's page activity

Visits<b>blindyblonde13</b> - the 05/20/2010 at 9:54pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 11:20pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 02/19/2010 at 2:45pm<b>heartlessagony</b> - the 01/27/2010 at 7:38pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 4:50pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 4:19pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 2:18pm<b>nametheband</b> - the 09/11/2009 at 2:49pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 4:58pm<b>timtam24</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 9:18am<b>ilikeboys</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 10:25am

arbw090583's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of arbw090583's badges

arbw090583's favorite FMLs

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

by fmylifebigtime / 02/25/2012 at 9:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

by hatinthelife / 02/18/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

by Tiana / 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

by wish.was.single / 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know..." and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML

by shellski / 01/20/2012 at 8:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

by meh / 01/18/2012 at 12:21am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

by ThatOneGirl646 / 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

by GingerJ / 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health