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Arbw090583's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • This isn't what should be happening

    You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    42%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
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Arbw090583's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

By Frostbitten - / Wednesday 27 February 2013 03:00 / United States - Freeport

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 14 February 2013 23:00 / United Kingdom - Kilkeel

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 9 February 2013 05:13 / United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

By mydadsgonnakillme - / Friday 8 February 2013 07:13 / United States - Santa Barbara

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

By facepalm / Tuesday 5 February 2013 03:30 / United States - Sayreville