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arbw090583

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arbw090583
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 September 1983 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 5572
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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arbw090583's favorite FMLs

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

#527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25270) - you deserved it (1312)

On 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm - misc - by bloom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5698) - you deserved it (19560)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

#398
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (5595)

On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (10172)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

#337
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34794) - you deserved it (2993)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Gwayhir - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

#305
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16824) - you deserved it (8990)

On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

#292
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28453) - you deserved it (1269)

On 11/12/2008 at 10:57pm - work - by 911 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

#61
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15933) - you deserved it (41588)

On 10/26/2008 at 12:04pm - work - by Shameonme - Morocco



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