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arbw090583

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arbw090583

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7876
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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arbw090583's page activity

Visits<b>blindyblonde13</b> - the 05/20/2010 at 9:54pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 11:20pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 02/19/2010 at 2:45pm<b>heartlessagony</b> - the 01/27/2010 at 7:38pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 4:50pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 4:19pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 2:18pm<b>nametheband</b> - the 09/11/2009 at 2:49pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 4:58pm<b>timtam24</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 9:18am<b>ilikeboys</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 10:25am

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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arbw090583's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31340) - you deserved it (5378)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35497) - you deserved it (3705)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44377) - you deserved it (9225)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46472) - you deserved it (7940)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34300) - you deserved it (2767)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML

#20448085
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56121) - you deserved it (4242)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by finallyready (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11963) - you deserved it (28139)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20766) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11277) - you deserved it (27354)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26959) - you deserved it (6585)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26398) - you deserved it (3076)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37337) - you deserved it (2957)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23682) - you deserved it (4165)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49557) - you deserved it (2606)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9671) - you deserved it (51971)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)



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