aquarian45

Search for a member

aquarian45

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 92
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

aquarian45's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

aquarian45's favorite FMLs

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

by AllegroRubato / 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

by karmamaybe / 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

by new name / 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

by RedFox12 / 10/27/2012 at 8:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 10:43am / Japan (Tokyo) / Health

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

by goldfish / 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

by Proprepourtant / 04/16/2011 at 7:28am / France / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2010 at 4:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

by hannah12345 / 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm / Intimacy

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML

by anonymouss / 09/21/2009 at 12:02am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

by ouchh / 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

by flexibleflatulance / 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

by blaise / 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (New York) / Love