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appleznorangez37

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appleznorangez37

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 127
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 12:28am<b>carry_on</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 10:11am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 11:46am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 10:39pm<b>yakrider</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 8:54am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 11:42pm

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appleznorangez37's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67328) - you deserved it (9924)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64602) - you deserved it (16407)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80041) - you deserved it (8257)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20952) - you deserved it (2820)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

#19575752
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25672) - you deserved it (4365)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by CALIdime_15 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML

#18904031
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11177) - you deserved it (31409)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:00am - intimacy - by talkingtoaretard (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9622) - you deserved it (66416)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46011) - you deserved it (8735)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (3123)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

#129411
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53402) - you deserved it (5978)

On 02/24/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by asdfghjkl_12 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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