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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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applesmoothiee

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applesmoothiee
  • Town/Country : Edinburgh, Scotland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 July 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 2733
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About applesmoothiee : Well my biggest ambitions are to learn how to play the bagpipes and wear a kilt. And drink whisky. Because that's why Scottish people were invented am I right?
Message me, I like talking and I love laughing. If you can make me laugh then you're awesome. :) I don't mind whatever random question you want to ask of me just do it.
Im in a band called Toxic Lemonade and I play lead guitar and vocals.
I know it says that I live in Scotland but right now I'm in a small village in Italy, and if it weren't for the internet it would be pretty much the same as living under a rock.
I don't really take things seriously and I'm wayyy too forgiving :P



Ps. Sorry if I visit your profile 500 times, I always forget ;]

Pps. Twilight is crap.

applesmoothiee's last visitors

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applesmoothiee's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

applesmoothiee's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (16821) - you deserved it (7205)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (14473) - you deserved it (3760)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (6914)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (17157) - you deserved it (4894)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

#8122396 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (10530) - you deserved it (1596)

On 02/11/2010 at 4:09am - intimacy - by stewiesclone - United States

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (25331) - you deserved it (4861)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma told me to f*** off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

#7391871 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (4417)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML

#7263265 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (10673) - you deserved it (1279)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by CD (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

#7256679 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (33291) - you deserved it (1995)

On 01/10/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (22685)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML

#7152531 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (11543) - you deserved it (3662)

On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (4887) - you deserved it (33469)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (2488)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

#6803629 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (25881)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by nwalsh2009 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I saw my favourite shirt on the floor of my dorm's bathroom. Feeling too lazy to bend down, I used my feet to "flick" the shirt up. Apparently, some drunkard took a dump on the floor and used my shirt to cover it up. I now have shit all over my feet, hands and the wall in front of me. FML

#6706916 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (3927)

On 12/11/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by CrapFeet (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.