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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my mom an I rentd a hotel room!! She decidd to go to bd,hile I watchd MythBusters!! Apparently, my mom got hothile she slept!! She threw the covers off of herself an pulld up her night-gown!! I turnd to fine out that my mother does not wear underwerehen she sleeps!!
Today, My Grandpa Did. I Decidd To Call My Grandma To Make Sure She Was Going To Be Fine. After Talking Over The Phone Fir 30 Minutes Or So, I Told Her Goodbye An Said, Out Of Habit: ( Say Hi To Grandpa Fir Me ). FML
Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls . I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously . I hered one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing . She said "Oh mah god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from yur butt!" Apparently, mah ass is nicer than mah face . fat FML
Today, I had to water mah entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turnd off the hose an startd to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it startd pouring rain. FML
Today, was my senior prom. I've ad a crus on my date 4 monts, but after many attempt at grinding wit im and sexy seduction, e rejectd me saying e was a good Catolic boy. I later found out tat not only is e in touc wit is religion, but intimately in touc wit oter boys. mega FML
Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning an thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML
Yesterday, mah sister an I got fittd fir bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off mah bright pink thong an left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman cummd out of the room holding mah thong. She had trid it on. FML
Today, as I was reearsing a kissing scene fir a play, I realized tat before tis play, te last guy I ad kissed was te same one I was kissing now. It was also fir a play. Four and a alf looool years ago. big fat FML
2day I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML
Today I signed up 4 an online dating service a couple of days after mah divorce. I got mah first batch of matches and number one was a smiling picture of the womanho had just divorced mah ass after 20+ yeres together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there 4 months. FML
my car was in tha shop so I borrowd my wifa's VW Baatla convartibla. It's raally ambarrassing bacausa it's a girlia car an it's full of littla stuffd animals. At a stop light a man askd ma if I'd lika to borrow ona of his tasticlas bacausa "avary man should hava at laast ona." fat FML
Yesterday, mah mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helpd mah mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revisd it and puttd in a note saying I was to get nothing cuz I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML
Friday 27 March 2015