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apple_sause

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  • Number of visits : 682
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:09pm<b>Jerhel</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 8:05pm<b>xabuko</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 6:30pm<b>Zenma</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 5:19pm

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apple_sause's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

#3485353
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11334) - you deserved it (57864)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML

#3484345
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53715) - you deserved it (5176)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by BrokenHearted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

#3479922
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (38277)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Singed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

#3479922
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (38277)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Singed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who was vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML

#3478288
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56733) - you deserved it (2716)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by hangup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

#3476155
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34787) - you deserved it (6245)

On 07/04/2009 at 8:10am - health - by michellekel (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML

#3475605
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36610) - you deserved it (9394)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by Peta2nNoMore (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

#3472091
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52031) - you deserved it (9428)

On 07/04/2009 at 2:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63846) - you deserved it (12493)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

#3469225
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37617) - you deserved it (3154)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by Grossedouttt - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving with a friend when we saw a wallet in the middle of his neighborhood road. When we picked it up, we saw it was loaded with cash. We drove to the mans house to return the wallet, and when we handed it to him he told us "I would give you a reward but I don't have any cash." FML

#3465989
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43756) - you deserved it (5185)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by Hayls5 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML

#3457854
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47744) - you deserved it (8304)

On 07/03/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by neverbeenkissed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML

#3457854
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47744) - you deserved it (8304)

On 07/03/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by neverbeenkissed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

#3456831
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30455) - you deserved it (11723)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:19pm - work - by PeePee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67329) - you deserved it (4891)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)



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