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About appelflap : Everytime I think my life can't get any worse I read the FMLs and feel better. I'm a horrible person if you look at it like that. But I'm a sweet person. Really. I swear.
I like to read, I'm a gamer ( no, not the sims and some cod to look badass. But why do I care to explain haha) and I like metal and rockabilly music.
I adore my pets ( my puppy Wookie, and cats Ziggy, Alice and Kratos) and my teddybear who is called Gomez.
Other stuff I like? Cotton candy, amusement parks, dinosaurs, transformers, branches that look like people, stormtroopers,magic and bubbles.
Message me if you like! I want to "collect" people from every state in the US! States that are taken : Arizona, Alabama, California, Montana, New Hamshire, Pennsylvania,Texas,Washington, Wisconsin. But there is always room for more!
Feel free to correct any spelling - and grammatical errors, I am not a native speaker. English is my 4th language so I'm always willing to improve.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
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You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I was at my nursing internship. After helping a patient get into bed, I began to walk out of the room when I heard him say to another nurse, "Now that was a king sized lady". To make things even better, she didn't understand him the first time and I got to hear him say it again. FML
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML
Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML
Friday 27 March 2015