appelflap

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appelflap

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 December 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1849
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About appelflap : Everytime I think my life can't get any worse I read the FMLs and feel better. I'm a horrible person if you look at it like that. But I'm a sweet person. Really. I swear.

I like to read, I'm a gamer ( no, not the sims and some cod to look badass. But why do I care to explain haha) and I like metal and rockabilly music.

I adore my pets ( my puppy Wookie, and cats Ziggy, Alice and Kratos) and my teddybear who is called Gomez.

Other stuff I like? Cotton candy, amusement parks, dinosaurs, transformers, branches that look like people, stormtroopers,magic and bubbles.

Message me if you like! I want to "collect" people from every state in the US! States that are taken : Arizona, Alabama, California, Montana, New Hamshire, Pennsylvania,Texas,Washington, Wisconsin. But there is always room for more!
Feel free to correct any spelling - and grammatical errors, I am not a native speaker. English is my 4th language so I'm always willing to improve.

appelflap's page activity

Visits<b>tranced_</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:25pm<b>SnowboarderFX</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Marcelb</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:36am<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:38pm<b>ritz24683</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 6:52pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:14pm<b>Taunting</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:35am<b>Trace01m</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Ausdank</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:57am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 11:21pm<b>vaderismyfriend</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:11pm<b>ginnieminnie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:10am<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 9:30pm<b>profligatesoul</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:06am<b>MegaFukTron9000</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 3:17pm<b>k4m1k4z3</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 10:54pm<b>Grand_Cookie</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 2:09am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 10:25pm

appelflap's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of appelflap's badges

appelflap's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my nursing internship. After helping a patient get into bed, I began to walk out of the room when I heard him say to another nurse, "Now that was a king sized lady". To make things even better, she didn't understand him the first time and I got to hear him say it again. FML

by melody91 / 05/30/2013 at 9:54pm / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

by lonely / 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

by too young for this / 04/12/2013 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

by kaikaicaligirl / 03/21/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 11:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML

by No Action Fighter / 08/22/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

by ginger / 08/19/2011 at 6:38am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2011 at 12:26am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

by stepsister / 06/10/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

by Username / 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Love