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apollojon

Offline (the 04/06/2014 at 5:33pm) | Search for a member

apollojon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 October 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 299
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About apollojon : Gotta love reading Fml to kill time. Feel free to message me.. i like meeting new people, especially funny ones haha :D

apollojon's page activity

Visits<b>anothemy</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:01pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 5:30am<b>singer0421</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:20am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:55pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:59pm<b>imbackwiththeshi</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:30pm<b>themanboyguy</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 4:41pm<b>AmberDarkness</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 4:20am<b>Robtranis</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:12am<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 4:46pm<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:56pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 9:47pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 2:26am<b>hopelesshippo</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 7:30pm<b>DetroitDakota</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 2:40pm<b>Chrysta</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 11:58pm<b>freesitter</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 9:28am

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apollojon's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59496) - you deserved it (8449)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

#21159082
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33775) - you deserved it (8539)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:28am - animals - by Fat Arsed Lass - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML

#20513499
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (2643)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

#20513495
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (2319)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42937) - you deserved it (9375)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

#20512812
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7581) - you deserved it (48517)

On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37594) - you deserved it (2994)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39283) - you deserved it (8444)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12417) - you deserved it (52759)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32497) - you deserved it (5046)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8724) - you deserved it (50265)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35172) - you deserved it (5401)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

#20503939
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25815) - you deserved it (2681)

On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

#20503854
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (6164)

On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)



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