Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

anniebee1995

Search for a member

anniebee1995

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 203
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About anniebee1995 : Lol

anniebee1995's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of anniebee1995's badges

anniebee1995's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46274) - you deserved it (7914)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34174) - you deserved it (10893)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML

#20068584
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28550) - you deserved it (4791)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

#20067114
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22136) - you deserved it (2212)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16948) - you deserved it (67762)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML

#20016767
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (2306)

On 08/12/2012 at 11:49am - love - by jake (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10672) - you deserved it (36754)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5379) - you deserved it (47453)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32369) - you deserved it (4084)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36079) - you deserved it (9017)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36079) - you deserved it (9017)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18228) - you deserved it (2102)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13868) - you deserved it (36197)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

#18471784
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24853) - you deserved it (14550)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: