Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ankafi

Search for a member

ankafi

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1518
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ankafi's page activity

Visits<b>LilMsDulce</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:44pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 5:24am<b>dutchy86</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 12:35am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 8:45pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 9:40am<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 1:48am<b>aaronyetter</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 1:56pm<b>rob02</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 8:20pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 8:44pm<b>ladyfingers</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 9:53am<b>dalink</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 7:54am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 11:46am<b>Sjus</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 4:49pm

ankafi's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of ankafi's badges

ankafi's favorite FMLs

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (4184)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

#19990524
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22809) - you deserved it (5051)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:20am - kids - by fml - Japan (Saitama)

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

#19987975
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10784) - you deserved it (38490)

On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

#19987975
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10784) - you deserved it (38490)

On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

#19987750
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22562) - you deserved it (7938)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML

#19987541
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24419) - you deserved it (7241)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27418) - you deserved it (2360)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

#19984594
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24921) - you deserved it (1917)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26899) - you deserved it (2082)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26899) - you deserved it (2082)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37709) - you deserved it (8101)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (12368)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24809) - you deserved it (2035)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25020) - you deserved it (2003)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: