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ankafi

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ankafi
  • Town/Country : Flourish and Blotts, Diagon Alley
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 882
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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ankafi's favorite FMLs

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

#20027054
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (1707)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm - misc - by wow, thanks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
500 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10416) - you deserved it (145104)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18431) - you deserved it (4644)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

#20022564
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33556) - you deserved it (3707)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (7472)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

#20017485
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (2209)

On 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm - kids - by JAdams (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13822) - you deserved it (37123)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39826) - you deserved it (4577)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39826) - you deserved it (4577)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20376) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (2675)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

#20007765
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14574) - you deserved it (1303)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

#20001841
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16102) - you deserved it (4825)

On 08/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by MAC. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

#20001108
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24492) - you deserved it (3803)

On 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm - kids - by pimpslaprequired (man) - United States



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