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ankafi

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ankafi
  • Town/Country : Flourish and Blotts, Diagon Alley
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 324
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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ankafi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19457) - you deserved it (2061)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19457) - you deserved it (2061)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8841) - you deserved it (31182)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

#19950706
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15372) - you deserved it (1193)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7670) - you deserved it (26863)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML

#19946274
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19012) - you deserved it (5161)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm - kids - by trisha (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18682) - you deserved it (1407)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32636) - you deserved it (1257)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML

#19939490
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7502) - you deserved it (15325)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by RIP - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

#19935872
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10456) - you deserved it (19218)

On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (2936)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (2936)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

#19913171
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21431) - you deserved it (2014)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23761) - you deserved it (2625)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25591) - you deserved it (1614)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)



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