Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ankafi

Search for a member

ankafi
  • Town/Country : Flourish and Blotts, Diagon Alley
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 851
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ankafi's last visitors

LilMsDulceBlack_Knight80itriedeverythingfitzy79dutchy86Sebastian2022brookenicolee29loveexgirlaaronyetterrob02Ambient25ladyfingers

ankafi's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of ankafi's badges

ankafi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why it would be highly offensive and inappropriate for him to go as Caylee Anthony for Halloween. I think he's still planning on doing it. FML

#18030465
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18037) - you deserved it (3270)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:32am - love - by Miroslav208 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9555) - you deserved it (57312)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30566) - you deserved it (1944)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31390) - you deserved it (8857)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11344) - you deserved it (37016)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML

#17891002
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7877) - you deserved it (37884)

On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (2488)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (27699)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27368) - you deserved it (13571)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26993) - you deserved it (2142)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31378) - you deserved it (3965)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31378) - you deserved it (3965)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (5038)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33274) - you deserved it (2973)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: