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ankafi's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
ankafi's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work
by author / 02/14/2014 at 9:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Lucie / 12/22/2013 at 8:51pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
by bastard / 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm / United States / Kids
Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Kids
by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
by Awkward / 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, as a freelancing musician, I had to pass on the best gig I've ever been offered (worth over… Today, my boss sat me down for my evaluation. Not only did she have nothing good to say because she…
- Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…