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Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9783) - you totally deserved it (21453)
On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25219) - you totally deserved it (9328)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11669) - you totally deserved it (55906)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16442) - you totally deserved it (43629)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by FattyMcFatterson (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8515) - you totally deserved it (38966)
On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you totally deserved it (6529)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42757) - you totally deserved it (16892)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you totally deserved it (8325)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you totally deserved it (5505)
On 06/20/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by WhyTheFNot (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13031) - you totally deserved it (31238)
On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4129) - you totally deserved it (56840)
On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23201) - you totally deserved it (1689)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year told me he thinks he might be gay. I took off my shirt, sexily climbed over him and began to kiss him passionately. "What do you think now?" I said seductively. His response? "Now I'm sure I'm gay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54523) - you totally deserved it (10553)
On 06/11/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by Lexxi (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9019) - you totally deserved it (56974)
On 06/07/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you totally deserved it (13233)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:03am - health - by NoPainNoGain (man) - United States (California)
