Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

angeljewlz

Search for a member

angeljewlz
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 July 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 1314
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About angeljewlz : Commenters I look forward to reading:

DocBastard
Perdix
Every1luvsboners
KaySL
Sourgirl101

angeljewlz's last visitors

ireply_wlyricsZaketh2112britneycheyeneBaaadGirlNilandudecall_Willa_copperchinchillabub4589

angeljewlz's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of angeljewlz's badges

angeljewlz's favorite FMLs

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33629) - you deserved it (2353)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23366) - you deserved it (13124)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29355) - you deserved it (11931)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

#15867292
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (11233)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

#15016068
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40129) - you deserved it (4245)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44125) - you deserved it (8911)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

#14967692
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29178) - you deserved it (2228)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Roxas (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

#13202314
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30472) - you deserved it (2299)

On 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

#12522582
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29129) - you deserved it (14252)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6636) - you deserved it (41842)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

#12405087
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33635) - you deserved it (3740)

On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

#10855287
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24772) - you deserved it (3601)

On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32701) - you deserved it (4284)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

#7430497
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (5583)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (4766)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: