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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 April 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 28949
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About andydawg8891 : I'm just a small town girl, living in a lonely world, but I took the midnight train going anywhere.

andydawg8891's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 4:14pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 5:53am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:13am<b>kukumber</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 9:29am<b>appi</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 11:27pm<b>rackyjr</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 2:23pm<b>Buhhhlainaaaa</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 2:40am<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:51pm<b>babyladuke</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 3:26pm<b>itzypedia</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 11:55am<b>umidontrember</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 10:47am<b>sinathedreamer</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 11:27am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 3:05pm<b>aidankelly</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 6:01pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 4:26pm<b>therosh</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 5:03pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:37pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 10:14pm

andydawg8891's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

andydawg8891's favorite FMLs

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

by Rin / 01/15/2010 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in the park and I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

by Juanna / 01/13/2010 at 3:07am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2010 at 11:32am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my mom and I had to shovel our driveway after an epic snowstorm that left us with 22 inches of snow. We only needed to dig out my mom's car and not mine. After we did all that work and shoveled all the snow onto the side where my car was we found out my mom had a flat tire. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2009 at 8:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML

by OnlyIfYouLoveMe / 11/23/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching and a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, when the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML

by carsuck / 11/11/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 10:23am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML

by Quirk / 10/29/2009 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2009 at 1:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

by stick / 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to start my car to go to work. When it wouldn't start, I popped the hood to see what was wrong. Some kind individual took advantage of the fact that my window doesn't roll up, and stole my battery. FML

by rugernut13 / 10/16/2009 at 12:47am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation