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andrewn's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 11:44am / Romania (Arad) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
by Jackedup / 05/18/2011 at 3:57am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by me / 05/01/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML
by Nate / 03/31/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by unwanted / 03/19/2011 at 5:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML
by screwed / 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by nicolette5785452 / 11/16/2010 at 10:34am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by anonymous / 06/11/2010 at 12:56am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML
by tattooooooface / 01/28/2010 at 8:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
by harrassment101 / 12/25/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Work
by ? / 11/29/2009 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…