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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (7195)
On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8391) - you deserved it (48258)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to go get my hair cut because it was getting a bit long. I told the lady that I wanted it way short and she replied "Why? You will look like a guy sweetie." I am a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (4627)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by theboywithlonghair (man) - United States (California)
Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (53812)
On 09/08/2009 at 8:29am - love - by nitwit (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26922) - you deserved it (4321)
On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42766) - you deserved it (2737)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Notyourstepmom - United States (Nevada)
Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my blackberry started to ring from my pocket... FML
I agree, your life sucks (10227) - you deserved it (37293)
On 09/07/2009 at 1:32pm - money - by ByeByeBlackberry (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61965) - you deserved it (2457)
On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6144) - you deserved it (18084)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54128) - you deserved it (4193)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)
Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58552) - you deserved it (2853)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36414) - you deserved it (2470)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (9390)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Porkchop05 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35435) - you deserved it (3919)
On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by shoelace18 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (32433)
On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)
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