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analisemarie

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analisemarie
  • Town/Country : Medford, Oregon, 'Merrica
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 March 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 953
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About analisemarie : I didn't chose the thuglife; my mom picked it out for me.
Music, poetry, cheer, tumblr, longboarding, and dance are my life ✌
16 years of age, just your average teenage girl. Cali born, Oregon raised. High aspirations.
Twitter & instagram are @analisemarieee❤
Check out my tumblr angeltearsmermaidhair.tumblr.com❤
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analisemarie's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of analisemarie's badges

analisemarie's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

#18927018
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (2683)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27676) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35656) - you deserved it (6345)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27303) - you deserved it (4346)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (5843)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

#18078195
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25161) - you deserved it (3671)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:43am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (15169)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11251) - you deserved it (72232)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

#17811635
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (10972)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

#17724529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34690) - you deserved it (2049)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML

#17620376
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21606) - you deserved it (2513)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

#17618254
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12880) - you deserved it (26648)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:20am - intimacy - by WithoutLove (man) - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
670 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (37484)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34597) - you deserved it (9281)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML

#17023806
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40513) - you deserved it (5664)

On 07/08/2011 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Username - United States



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