analisemarie

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analisemarie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3537
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About analisemarie : I didn't chose the thuglife; my mom picked it out for me.
Music, poetry, cheer, tumblr, longboarding, and dance are my life ✌
16 years of age, just your average teenage girl. Cali born, Oregon raised. High aspirations.
Twitter & instagram are @analisemarieee❤
Check out my tumblr angeltearsmermaidhair.tumblr.com❤
I follow back

analisemarie's page activity

Visits<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:25am<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 2:22am<b>TheSinisterUrge</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 4:40am<b>arich6210</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:33pm<b>Henriqu3e</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 7:26am<b>rhiannahoward14</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:17am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:08pm<b>finiclepie</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:40am<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:34am<b>lokland</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:17pm<b>itsfreakinliv</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 9:14pm<b>kirasen</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:05pm<b>Mahenoor</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:17pm<b>mrz1177</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:54am<b>hannah0987</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 5:28pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 3:59pm<b>Pevira</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:23am

analisemarie's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of analisemarie's badges

analisemarie's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 4:36am / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 1:43am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

by Hairytoes / 10/07/2011 at 6:35am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

by essay2 / 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2011 at 6:41am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

by fashionista1787 / 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 10:51am / United States / Transportation

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

by WithoutLove / 08/30/2011 at 1:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML

by Username / 07/08/2011 at 2:12am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

by siannacasey / 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous