analisemarie

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analisemarie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3452
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About analisemarie : I didn't chose the thuglife; my mom picked it out for me.
Music, poetry, cheer, tumblr, longboarding, and dance are my life ✌
16 years of age, just your average teenage girl. Cali born, Oregon raised. High aspirations.
Twitter & instagram are @analisemarieee❤
Check out my tumblr angeltearsmermaidhair.tumblr.com❤
I follow back

analisemarie's page activity

Visits<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:25am<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 2:22am<b>TheSinisterUrge</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 4:40am<b>arich6210</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:33pm<b>Henriqu3e</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 7:26am<b>rhiannahoward14</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:17am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:08pm<b>finiclepie</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:40am<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:34am<b>lokland</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:17pm<b>itsfreakinliv</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 9:14pm<b>kirasen</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:05pm<b>Mahenoor</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:17pm<b>mrz1177</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:54am<b>hannah0987</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 5:28pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 3:59pm<b>Pevira</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:23am

analisemarie's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of analisemarie's badges

analisemarie's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

by Username / 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

by J Rush / 03/21/2012 at 7:46am / United Kingdom (Powys) / Health

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

by ReallyBro / 03/21/2012 at 3:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 12:50am / Canada / Health

Today, I had to tell a parent about her son kicking a boy in his class. She blamed me for not watching him. I wasn't watching him because I was turned around to care for another boy he had hit right before that. FML

by LadyJ / 03/20/2012 at 8:23pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

by anonymous / 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Love

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

by lyla / 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

by jamboooy / 03/18/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

by unendowed / 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

by Blueshock08 / 02/23/2012 at 2:03am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love