analisemarie

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analisemarie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3353
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About analisemarie : I didn't chose the thuglife; my mom picked it out for me.
Music, poetry, cheer, tumblr, longboarding, and dance are my life ✌
16 years of age, just your average teenage girl. Cali born, Oregon raised. High aspirations.
Twitter & instagram are @analisemarieee❤
Check out my tumblr angeltearsmermaidhair.tumblr.com❤
I follow back

analisemarie's page activity

Visits<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:25am<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 2:22am<b>TheSinisterUrge</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 4:40am<b>arich6210</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:33pm<b>Henriqu3e</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 7:26am<b>rhiannahoward14</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:17am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:08pm<b>finiclepie</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:40am<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:34am<b>lokland</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:17pm<b>itsfreakinliv</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 9:14pm<b>kirasen</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:05pm<b>Mahenoor</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:17pm<b>mrz1177</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:54am<b>hannah0987</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 5:28pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 3:59pm<b>Pevira</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:23am

analisemarie's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of analisemarie's badges

analisemarie's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

by murp / 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

by Toolate / 10/10/2012 at 4:26am / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm / Ireland (Mayo) / Kids

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

by sal / 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML

Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

by sadmommy / 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Kids