Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

analisemarie

Search for a member

analisemarie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1586
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About analisemarie : I didn't chose the thuglife; my mom picked it out for me.
Music, poetry, cheer, tumblr, longboarding, and dance are my life ✌
16 years of age, just your average teenage girl. Cali born, Oregon raised. High aspirations.
Twitter & instagram are @analisemarieee❤
Check out my tumblr angeltearsmermaidhair.tumblr.com❤
I follow back

analisemarie's page activity

Visits<b>finiclepie</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:40am<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:34am<b>lokland</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 7:33pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:17pm<b>itsfreakinliv</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 9:14pm<b>kirasen</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:05pm<b>Mahenoor</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:17pm<b>mrz1177</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:54am<b>hannah0987</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 5:28pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 3:59pm<b>Pevira</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:23am<b>cookie777</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 12:59pm<b>patches116</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 3:37pm<b>McCoby</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 2:52pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 9:09am<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 11:02pm<b>rachel_h</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 6:42pm<b>talkomatic713</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 3:21pm

analisemarie's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of analisemarie's badges

analisemarie's favorite FMLs

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55592) - you deserved it (8121)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31714) - you deserved it (3311)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

#20195064
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34001) - you deserved it (1853)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27310) - you deserved it (3682)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (2071)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19058) - you deserved it (25303)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20312) - you deserved it (3913)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38554) - you deserved it (2418)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

#20181345
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41035) - you deserved it (3621)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18407) - you deserved it (44239)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

#20171594
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7074) - you deserved it (18746)

On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

#20162787
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31802) - you deserved it (4120)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

#20160706
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5953) - you deserved it (48698)

On 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm - money - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38835) - you deserved it (2701)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: