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amysousa

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amysousa

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  • Number of visits : 1454
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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amysousa's page activity

Visits<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 6:29pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 1:24pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:33am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:50pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:20am<b>jaycee1209</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:42am<b>C7</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 11:44pm<b>holyblahblah</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 2:25am<b>_luckyme_101</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 3:13pm<b>jamesheat11</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 8:40am<b>izzie321</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 3:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/21/2013 at 5:54pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 1:49am<b>Jonah171</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 5:33pm<b>olis64</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 3:39am<b>bucbasher21</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 8:28am<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:50am<b>Karamelo</b> - the 05/18/2011 at 7:54pm

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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amysousa's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

#5403982
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39965) - you deserved it (12572)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm - work - by mcdeez (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36700) - you deserved it (3417)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33807) - you deserved it (4803)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60597) - you deserved it (13272)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19037) - you deserved it (46979)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

#4026521
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8105) - you deserved it (79823)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

#3602722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59505) - you deserved it (4420)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by Told_You_So (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67912) - you deserved it (6481)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

#3354281
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (45736)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

#2663554
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9829) - you deserved it (76944)

On 06/06/2009 at 3:44pm - health - by thedogkisser (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

#2602287
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65812) - you deserved it (9308)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

#2158517
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61200) - you deserved it (11166)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by screwed (woman) - United States

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

#553783
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98477) - you deserved it (10318)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was getting my mail, I received a free coupon from a baby supply store saying "congratulations on your expectancy." Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I am living with. All she had to say was "Surprise!" FML

#492457
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72718) - you deserved it (15630)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:04pm - kids - by daddy-to-be (man) - United States (New York)



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