amysousa

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amysousa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2271
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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amysousa's page activity

Visits<b>wizmor</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 11:36pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:19am<b>krazy789</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:15pm<b>xyris</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 3:56pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:07am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:49am<b>Fmelikeuhateme</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:44pm<b>jadeleepenguin</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 12:32pm<b>Chiishinchu</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:00pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:29am<b>PolloRobot</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 12:53am<b>jaymecarterr</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:41am<b>constipation</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:54pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 6:29pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 1:24pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:33am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:50pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:20am

amysousa's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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amysousa's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

by incestastic / 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

by betrayed / 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

by reckless / 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

by Camille / 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

by gibsonSG323 / 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

by Fark / 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm / United Kingdom (Cumbria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He says "yeah well you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

by fu2then / 03/09/2010 at 1:04am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

by whathef???? / 02/13/2010 at 1:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

by grosssss / 01/01/2010 at 8:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I got my first tip. It was a Mentos. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2009 at 4:33am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2009 at 8:27am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm / United States / Work

Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML

by hairdresser / 10/18/2009 at 11:27am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Kids