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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got a job at McDonald's because I've been really needing money. After work, I got some food with the Monopoly pieces. I completed the set for $5,000, but I can't claim it because I work for McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (2638)
On 10/13/2009 at 1:41am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was at soccer camp and was hit in the face with a ball. I walked to the nurse and asked for a napkin or tissues to help stop the bleeding. The only thing she could come up with? A tampon. I spent 20 minutes with a tampon shoved up my nostril in front of my laughing teammates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18369) - you deserved it (2288)
On 10/12/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35356) - you deserved it (2303)
On 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by cbarebo (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29036) - you deserved it (1538)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (1554)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:16pm - animals - by traumatised (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I had a UTI and the doctor said the medicine can sometimes make you leak a little. "Leak a little" apparently translates into peeing all over myself, my boyfriend, and his bed while we were sleeping. The doctor also said this medicine can stain your urine a beautiful, bright orange color. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (1690)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:48am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4614) - you deserved it (76857)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned that the excessive groin sweating I've been trying to deal with for weeks isn't groin sweating. It's a slow and steady stream of urine that I have no control over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38432) - you deserved it (2288)
On 10/09/2009 at 5:25pm - health - by lizzzie (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61987) - you deserved it (4011)
On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30446) - you deserved it (2791)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:31pm - love - by Rage (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6721) - you deserved it (32889)
On 10/08/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by lumacsp - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28498) - you deserved it (2398)
On 10/08/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by Irony (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8984) - you deserved it (26523)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:14am - kids - by stupidsantaclaus (woman) - United States (California)
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24699) - you deserved it (5753)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20597) - you deserved it (5316)
On 10/08/2009 at 12:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
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