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amtz90

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amtz90

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 179
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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amtz90's page activity

Visits<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:59am

amtz90's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

amtz90's favorite FMLs

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49040) - you deserved it (5607)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51899) - you deserved it (6519)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (20488)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45942) - you deserved it (3631)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40948) - you deserved it (9721)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45902) - you deserved it (4865)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

#20866691
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34742) - you deserved it (6294)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

#20838741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51082) - you deserved it (3109)

On 08/15/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by Anonymous - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57593) - you deserved it (14346)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60288) - you deserved it (8964)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56210) - you deserved it (9321)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

#20804217
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48210) - you deserved it (2565)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54806) - you deserved it (6343)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53650) - you deserved it (4013)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

#20767253
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52974) - you deserved it (9442)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by juliearis (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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