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Amtz90's FML badges
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    3%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    55%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    11%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    1%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    1%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
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Amtz90's favorite FMLs

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

By Anon. - / Saturday 28 March 2009 08:07 / United States

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

By foreveralone / Monday 13 January 2014 01:00 / United States - Franklin Park

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 31 December 2014 19:36 / United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

By Anonomous / Sunday 29 December 2014 00:31 / United States - Plainfield

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

By beemove - / Saturday 28 December 2013 21:19 / United States - Kirkland