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amrik's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
amrik's favorite FMLs
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by funnymanjoe / 09/14/2011 at 7:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 1:38am / Canada / Love
by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by illenram06 / 07/11/2011 at 11:37am / Philippines (Roxas) / Love
by Derp-A-Herp / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / United States (Texas) / Love
by dollarstorepwnr / 03/19/2011 at 1:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work
by Someone / 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
by JordanVilleneuve / 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Gabriel A / 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…