About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
by thegirlwiththedumbassbf / 03/23/2016 at 6:58pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by an adorable devil / 03/21/2016 at 2:52am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2016 at 9:21am / Netherlands (Limburg) / Work
Today, I joined my boyfriend at a work conference out of state. One of the other conference-goers struck up a conversation and I obliged. Apparently, I was too nice. He followed me into the hotel lobby and openly watched me go back to my hotel room, making sure to count the room numbers. FML
by CreeptacularBait / 03/16/2016 at 5:33pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML
by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
by singlemam / 03/14/2016 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Wolf6661 / 03/14/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, while trying to sleep, my roommates were shouting in the next room. When I poked my head out to tell them to shut up, I was greeted to the sight of one of them with his knob duct-taped inside a gun holster, and the other one trying to rip it off. And they wonder why I'm not more social. FML
by NotEnoughBleach / 03/13/2016 at 11:58pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at 2 AM to the sounds of my roommate and his girlfriend on Skype, playing a game of, "No, I love YOU more, baby, schmoopy schmoopy schmoopy schmoo". It went on for around half an hour. FML
by GetAnotherRoomAlready / 03/12/2016 at 12:58am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a student came out to me, saying that she thinks she's gay. This has happened several times since I have taught here, which made me wonder why they were comfortable telling me. Turns out being a single, childless woman of my age screams "lesbian" to this particular community. I'm not. FML
by phalangesenfuego / 03/10/2016 at 9:07am / United States (Washington) / Love
by GrandTheftArson / 03/08/2016 at 10:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Juju Bear / 03/08/2016 at 6:54am / Miscellaneous
by AwkCockBlock / 03/06/2016 at 7:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, a student threw her hot coffee at me after I told her I was giving her an F. For months I've been telling her she needs to hand in missing work, but she thought I was bluffing. She got suspended, but my clothes are still ruined and I still got burned. FML
by KayleeFrye / 03/05/2016 at 12:39am / United States (Connecticut) / Work