About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/13/2016 at 6:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML
by parasheeeet / 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals
Today, I called my mom to make sure she could attend on the wedding day my fiancé and I had discussed. She started off with criticizing the venue we considered, then went on to criticize my fiancé, and then stated she would under no circumstances help out, but demanded to pick my wedding dress. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2016 at 3:53am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I arrived at work to find a bullet hole in the window of the storefront we're leasing. Security assured me it had always been there and the glass shards on the floor had somehow been missed in my many vacuum passes and the pre-lease inspection two months ago, so no need to worry or fix it. FML
by anonymous / 01/08/2016 at 1:49am / United States / Work
Today, I went to move a load of laundry out of the washer and into the dryer, but the clothes were already in the dryer. Normally, I would be happy about this. However, I am currently living alone. FML
by Pithegreat / 01/05/2016 at 11:48pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML
by embarrassed / 01/04/2016 at 12:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Xandriajoy10 / 01/04/2016 at 12:21am / Australia / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML
by bob the builders pissed off daughter / 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML
by Alien / 12/29/2015 at 6:07am / Switzerland / Love
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 1:23pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat: "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML
by buttfingers / 12/26/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 11:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous