About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/07/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML
by Haitwun / 12/07/2014 at 9:18pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids
Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
by .__. / 12/07/2014 at 3:10am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous
by elissak / 12/07/2014 at 1:58am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
by fistycunt4 / 12/06/2014 at 3:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/05/2014 at 8:44am / United States (California) / Love
by shugette212 / 12/04/2014 at 8:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/03/2014 at 1:34pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML
by Anonymous / 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML
by allykat / 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML
by peceout / 12/02/2014 at 3:48am / Sweden (Hallands Lan) / Love
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML
by justagirl / 12/02/2014 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy