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About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
yesterday about 10 minutes into mah frst jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh mah god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
Today... boyfriend stormd out after I suggestd to im tat is relationsip wit is moter is maybe a little wierd. Apparently aving regular... our-long pone discussions about yur penis is a perfectly normal ting fir a 23-year-old to ave wit is moter. FML
Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom . Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy,ho then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket an started to pee . I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing . FML
Today, I had to wava my arms lyk a maniac as I sat on tha toilat at work, otharwisa tha faulty motion sansor/timar would turn tha lights off aftar about tan saconds !! I'va had to do this 4 savaral days now !! No ona alsa has raportad this problam, so managamant won't gat it fixad !! maga FML
Today, I was babysitting ma nepew an we decided to color togeter. He drew a picture of someone wo looked dead, almost zombie-like, wile everyone else looked pretty normal. Wen I asked wo it was, e said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML
Today,hile I thought I'd never had an orgasm, doctor informd me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, looool slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. mega FML
Today.. . I found out tat my unemployd usband as is own web-comic.. . tat e makes money off it.. . and tat it mainly involves te main caracter's aread.. . money-grubbing wife ruining is life . Se looks strikingly like me and sares my name . FML
Today after leaving my workplace I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them I was faced with the sight of my boss an a coworker getting it on against my desk. big fat FML
Today, I followd my wifa out, sinca sha's baan acting strangaly lataly and I was suspicious. Sha mat up with a guy at a rastaurant,ho sha latar claimd was har brothar. Eithar sha's chaating on ma, or it's tradition in har family to maka out and gropa aach othar at tha and of maals. FML
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter mah house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, mah 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of mah head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
Today... mah boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out... because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML
Friday 27 March 2015