amelia_suhayda

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amelia_suhayda

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26149
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.

amelia_suhayda's page activity

Visits<b>iamscott</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 2:49pm<b>weirdangelz2</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 2:38pm<b>lovebooks07</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 6:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:09pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 8:16pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 2:16pm<b>shaobi</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:26pm<b>secretmisery05</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 4:17pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:04am<b>lonelysquid93</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:14am<b>Alole</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:02am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:17am<b>abkfml</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:32am<b>Jason89</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:07pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:45pm<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:42pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 2:08pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 1:08am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 3:04pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 5:03am<b>nitsuganayrem</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:51am

amelia_suhayda's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of amelia_suhayda's badges

amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs

Today, my toddler son walked up to my older daughter and kissed her chest, then said, "I kissed the boob." I have no idea where he learned that word. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2016 at 2:59pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I discovered that you should always check the litter box before vacuuming stray litter outside of it after my cat burst out from the box mid-piss and skittered around the house still pissing after I put the vacuum hose behind the box. FML

by mallyboo / 10/01/2016 at 10:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I found out my brand new $3,000 mattress that is supposed to relieve my back pain works amazingly. I only discovered this because my wife, son, daughter, dog, and two cats are all asleep on it and not waking up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2016 at 1:53am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2016 at 9:08am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML

by awkward / 09/26/2016 at 5:31pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, during a regular checkup at the dentist, I got a wisdom tooth pulled out which resulted in me looking like a fat hamster. Tomorrow is my first day as an English teacher in high school. FML

by toeloezz / 09/26/2016 at 2:02pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML

by KayKay / 09/23/2016 at 2:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML

by stoolgal / 09/23/2016 at 2:19am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML

by nopenopenopenope / 09/22/2016 at 11:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. When he slid his penis in, he felt my NuvaRing, and with the most excitement I've ever seen a man muster, said, "Oh my god! You have your clit pierced! I can't believe I actually get to have sex with a girl who has her clit pierced!" FML

by ArsonistsLullaby / 09/21/2016 at 5:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML

by grossed out / 09/21/2016 at 5:21am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

by Alyssa / 09/21/2016 at 3:17am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I still can't poop unless I hear the sound of the bathroom fan. FML

by ltwlty / 09/20/2016 at 3:07am / China (Beijing) / Health

Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML

by dude i am so sorry / 09/19/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my wife announced she had a sexy surprise for me. Turns out she got a Brazilian wax, which is a huge turn-off for me. Not only could I not get it up, I got to hear all about how much her last boyfriend loved it. FML.

by HairToStay / 09/19/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy