Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

amelia_suhayda

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

amelia_suhayda

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5023
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.

amelia_suhayda's page activity

Visits<b>maxyutd</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:17am<b>SlashingAverV2</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:32am<b>Matt_Hazard</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:37pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:41am<b>lan356</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:24pm<b>nitsuganayrem</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:46pm<b>kanue28</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:53pm<b>16characters</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:12pm<b>fboy1588</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:35am<b>roza_and_dimka</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:09pm<b>austinn_lynn</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:53pm<b>RubenTheGreek</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Vayu</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:45pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:44pm<b>subertm</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:50pm<b>shainj78</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:21pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:25pm<b>westboundcali</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:26pm

Liked!<b>nitsuganayrem</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:51am

amelia_suhayda's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of amelia_suhayda's badges

amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs

Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35144) - you deserved it (4985)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (3257)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I asked for time off from work for my wedding and honeymoon. A grand total of three days. My boss made a face like he'd sucked on rancid toes and asked me if I was stupid. Awesome. FML

#21237232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39058) - you deserved it (2746)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:15am - work - by BrokeBride (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

#21237096
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33738) - you deserved it (13688)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38319) - you deserved it (2560)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML

#21236595
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33334) - you deserved it (5729)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37337) - you deserved it (3410)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41011) - you deserved it (8822)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38934) - you deserved it (9093)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38030) - you deserved it (23380)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

#21235196
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42526) - you deserved it (3963)

On 08/11/2014 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

#21234971
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44901) - you deserved it (3289)

On 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm - work - by poorman (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: